Fireworks, the ones in the Sky, not the Beneco-Meralco Kind

Did you know that I once saw you stare at me so deep that it made my soul fly away from my body because it wasn’t used to being looked at that way? The moment I saw you stare, I promised myself that I would get the chance to stare at you that way as well. A stare so strong that it would deprive you of your ability to breathe and think and speak of words you never intend to say anyway.

Every time I saw you, I would not ask myself where you’ve been or where you’re going. I would ask myself, “Is this the perfect time to steal his soul through my stare?” After so many times, it wasn’t. And then one time, one unexpected instance, it was.

It was finally time to stare at you. So I did. I beamed at your beauty from a far without letting anyone notice. Amidst the darkness was you and it was enough. I wanted to take back my soul but I couldn’t. Somehow, my soul got lost in the idea that it belongs with you. And this understanding has made it laborious for a person like me to even grasp the concept of not having a soul anymore. Why? Because I didn’t realize I had one until you took it away from me. And now I miss it. I miss my soul, my soul which I didn’t know existed.

As I stared, all I could think of was how lonely you are. And because of that, I have managed to write down so many questions I hope you could answer, if not for me, at least for yourself.

– Why do you deprive yourself of what you really want?

– Why have you been saying “Yes” to every single thing people have been telling you?

– Why have you been settling for conversations that don’t really build you? Why the mediocre friendships?

– Why have you not been feeding your love for things like sports and music?

– Why have you been saying you’re busy, when in fact, you’re really bored?

– Why are you trying to heal your wounds when you don’t even know where they come from?

– Why are you not okay?

 

I hope you are okay.

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