Trust yourself. Be yourself. You can do it. Just believe.
These are the phrases, among many others, that you constantly tell yourself when you’re about to speak in front of people, ask that cute girl out on a date or bet your spare cash on a friendly game of poker. These circumstances happen on a daily basis. And we learn to develop the kind of belief that we need for our daily endeavors.
And then there are the big things, the main attractions, the part of your lives that make dramatic changes to your future; these require a greater deal of bravery because you know that the risk of embarrassment at a scheduled recitation is nothing compared to failing the bar, that getting turned down by your crush is nothing compared to preparing for a wedding that was never meant to happen and that risking spare change is nothing compared to investing your lifetime savings.
I take pleasure in believing that people have good motives, that love can possibly make the world go round and that someday, the sky would turn into a big rainbow. Sadly, I can’t be too idealistic otherwise, it would make me a weak in my craft. I need to drop this idealistic thinking and accept that the defiance of evil has become everybody’s goal. How I wish that it wasn’t, but it is.
The Sayote Vendor
I rented a commercial space near my school and while I was taking measurements with the carpenter, a Sayote vendor went inside hiding. She was old. Not “inarte” old. She was really old and it seemed like her children had no regard for her safety. The people concerned knocked on my space and they were physically taking the sayote from her. In estimation, all her “paninda” would amount to 150 Php. She was outraged and obviously hurt when she said, “Tangina naman eh, yan lang ang kabuhayan ko.” After a while, she started to look for her knife.
I went to check on the carpenters the next day and, as expected, she was in the same spot, seated painfully on sidewalk pavements, for the whole day, so she could make 150 Php. And that just makes me sad and mad at myself because she spends a whole day selling for my pedicure. My god, it was a self-hate moment.
The Waiter That We All Ever so Love!
There’s this waiter that we ever so love! When you walk in this cafe, he’d throw at you any one of these phrases:
“Ma’am Abby, anjan po si Ma’am Hanna sa taas, gusto mo umakyat?”
“Ma’am may Marlboro Black na kami.”
“Ma’am dito ka muna, bibili lang ako ng lunch saglit.”
The past few days, I was blessed with the chance to get to know him better. He told me about his life and all the painful things he has been through. I mean, I’ve been through an incredible amount of ups and downs, too. But at least I have the chance to pursue my dreams. He doesn’t. He has no choice.
We Are All Brave
So I just want to give a cyber toast, if you will, to the following:
– those who are brave enough to get up instead of going back under their covers
– those who have been ridiculed by their own families
– those who go to work and school despite their heavy hearts
– those who do what it takes to make their dreams come true without any moral support
– those who have been broken by people who they’ve trusted their life with
– those who doubted themselves but still walk to their doors of horrors
I SALUTE YOU ALL. I think the world is a better place because of all of you. Go ahead and face the world and grow braver everyday.
TANGINA, ang hirap mabuhay pero ang sarap kasi ng pakiramdam na malampasan mo lahat yan. Lalo na kung andun ka na sa point na malapit mo ng gilitan ung leeg mo. WAG KAYONG SUSUKO. PROMISE. KAPIT LANG.