I am everywhere as my thoughts stood still for 20 minutes. Thinking. Over thinking. Stopping my thoughts. Losing my train of thought. Thinking again. That’s how I come up with the crazy ideas in my head. It’s dangerous 10% of the time. The 90% left is a mix of brilliance and humor.
I snap out of that zone as a Skype call comes in. I’m in a meeting where I am again required to throw in ideas. 40 minutes later, the meeting is over.
60 minutes gone. Full of ideas.
I want to digest my day by the minute. But doing that will make me spend 30 seconds thinking about every minute. So I am left with 12 hours to be human, to perform, to live instead of thinking.
I thought of that for another 5 minutes.
65 minutes gone. Still full of ideas.
It’s been heavy, but looking back, I should be used to this. To the abuse the world throws around. You can smile everyday. It’s just that sometimes your smile won’t reach your eyes. Sometimes your smile is faulty and it’s okay as long as your thoughts are still your own.
I almost forgot the comfort my thoughts could give. So as I throw this book away and close that dream, I will keep proving that to face and discover is the real cure.